This one is for the boys
You're not an afterthought. You're half of the whole reason the day is happening. So this one's for you.
I've picked up a few things over the years, just from watching quietly from behind the camera, the small moments right before you see her for the first time, where I notice something's not quite right and there's no time left to fix it. So here they are. Not a lecture. Just the things I wish someone had sat down and told you.
Check Your Jacket for Me
This one I see the most, so let's start here. New suits and blazers come from the shop with little threads still holding parts of them shut: the back vent, the pocket flaps, sometimes even the cuffs. It's just there to keep the jacket looking sharp on the hanger. It was never meant to make it to you. It can take a sharp suit and make it look ill fitting if you don't fix it. I do keep a pair of scissors in my bag now though, just in-case you forget, or no-one tells you.
A few days before the wedding, not the morning of, take small sharp scissors and snip those threads in the middle, then gently tweeze the bits out. Check the vent at the back, both pockets, and the sleeves. It takes five minutes, and it means one less thing for anyone to notice on the day but you.
Here's one I noticed too late:
Wear the Shoes In
New shoes have a very particular walk small, careful steps, because they genuinely hurt a bit. I can spot it in photos. Wear them around the house for a week before if you can, thick socks and all, and give the soles a light scuff so you're not sliding around later when you're pulled onto the dance floor. Oh and remove the stickers from the soles - Believe it or not I have seen this too!
Give Your Suit Room to Be Adjusted
If you can, get your final fitting two to three weeks out rather than the week of. Bodies shift a little in the lead-up to a wedding, and your tailor needs a bit of breathing room too, in case anything needs a tweak. Doing it early just takes the pressure off both of you.
Get Your Haircut a Few Days Early
I know it feels responsible to get it done the morning of, but a fresh cut can look a touch too crisp in photos before it's had time to settle in. Aim for three to five days before instead. Same with a shave or beard trim, if you're not doing it yourself that morning.
Pack Yourself a Little Kit
I always notice the bride has a bag full of everything from snacks to safety pins, and tissues You deserve the same. Nothing fancy, just:
- Small scissors or a mini sewing kit
- A stain remover pen
- Mints or gum
- Deodorant
- Your phone charger
- Any medication you take
- A bit of cash tucked away
It's such a small thing to put together, but it means you're not the one scrambling to a servo an hour before I start taking photos.
Say Out Loud Who's Got the Rings
Do it a few times - like your passport when you travel.
This is the one that actually keeps people up at night, more than any of the outfit stuff. Pick someone, your best man, usually, and actually say it to his face on the morning: you've got the rings, you've got the vows. Don't just assume. I've watched grooms realise, mid-ceremony-prep, that nobody actually checked.
Please, Eat Something
I mean this gently. Wedding mornings run entirely on nerves, alcohol and adrenaline, and I can't tell you how often the groom hasn't eaten anything by the time I'm photographing the ceremony. It catches up with you, usually right when you need to be steady, standing there, waiting for her to walk in.
Have a real meal a few hours before. Keep some water nearby. Someone should be looking after you that morning, and if no one else thinks to remind you, consider this me doing it for you.
Try the Whole Suit on Once, Properly
Not just a quick look in the mirror. Actually wear it for a bit. Sit down. Give someone a hug. Lift your arms like you're about to be pulled into a group photo. That's exactly how you catch anything that's not quite right, while there's still time to fix it, instead of me quietly pointing it out ten minutes before you walk out.
Give Yourself Some Room That Morning
If there's one thing I want you to take from all of this, it's that none of it is hard on its own. What makes mornings stressful is trying to fit all of it in at once, while everyone else is asking you where things are.
You don't need a spreadsheet. Just a loose sense, the week before, of when things are happening, so getting ready feels like part of the day,(you deserve it as much as she does, not a scramble before it. Please talk to your bride about how she wants things to run, which side of the aisle she wants you to stand on, do you have the music ready for the aisle walk, practice your kiss - that will be fun, discuss your walk down the aisle as a married couple, will you do something fun like pick her up or twirl her in celebration?
Why This Matters to Me
Because you deserve to actually enjoy your own wedding morning, not just survive it. The small stuff, sorted early, means when I lift my camera and catch you laughing with your groomsmen, or catching her eye for the first time, that's genuinely all that's on your mind.
You're allowed to be looked after too. I hope this helps, even just a little.
If you're planning your day and want a hand thinking through the rest of it, get in touch I'm always happy to help.
